I've been wondering

I realized the post before this was pretty gruesome. I apologize for that. I don't know who I'm apologizing to though. It's not like anyone reads this but me. I mean, seriously. It's pretty much a second diary, except, online. Therefore I don't put everything on there. If you were confused about the previous post. And the PS or signature after it..Let me explain.
I have adhd, which allows me to have literally at least a hundred thoughts floating around freely in my head. Most of those thoughts are stupid, silly, or funny. Others are angry, pissedoff, or violent. There are also the ones that caused the latter. The ones where I am worried about something, about home, about family, about what will happen to me, about my future, about others. There are the ones where I am scolding, almost always to myself, thinking about all the sins I have made, all the mistakes and stupid choices, saying the wrong things to someone, not thinking through, how I wonder if there's a chance I will go to heaven. I hate all the things I've done in my life. It's messed up every single person in my family's life. So. That post. The one before this. "This shouldn't happen to me" That, my friends. Is me. Poking a hole in the Bad Thoughts balloon, and letting it all spill out in the worst way. The nonsensical way. Where I am saying things but not revealing things. Oh well. I apologize. To anyone and everyone who ever read that.
-The Sorry Rat