Send it to me. I'll read it when I wake up.

Fine. My loss.

"Is it one girl you're talking to? Or two different? One you hate? One you love?
Why'd you show me your secrets when you refuse to explain yourself to me?
Why did you...Humor me. 'Why Are You So Quiet?' kills me.
Read it again from my perspective. I feel like you absolutely understand how I hurt. With exception to the fact you're writing to a different soul than I do.
Which sparks the questions of 'Why did he lie to me? How could he deal out ''I'm in love with you'' so easily? Didn't he realize that he would destroy me? Didn't he see how willingly I would follow him? How could he do this to me? To himself, even?'
And so I try and fit the pieces together: UNDERSTATEMENT. Dec 12. Kill me now! Or maybe I've got it all wrong and I'm the one you're in love with? Absolutely improbable. It's the dream I'll never ask for.
Another puzzle "I TRIED" Dec 21. (You were very emotional in December, huh? Too bad I didn't know. Too good you didn't know that I was, too. You wouldn't have given a -fuck-.) I almost wish that was to me. I'd die with sadness, but at least it would be an answer. At least it could shove me down a path, good or bad. You've had me lost for months.
But no, it couldn't be me. You speak of a boy. Whoever you hate. She had someone else..Maybe. And plus, it was around that time that you told me something. Something that fucking burned my heart and squeezed my throat.
But you didn't realize, didn't wonder if it was wrong to tell me that. I tried. I tried to explain how I felt. You didn't understand. I was frustrated. I didn't know how to put my feelings into words.
I still don't. They are incoherent. Useless. Strike no emotion in anyone, but me.
If only you knew how I care for you. If only you knew how I protect you.
No. I don't want you to know. I wouldn't want to ruin your life more. Give you an excuse to run. Another side of me hints that when you do learn.. When you do stumble across the truth one day. You might die inside, sure. Anyone would..
But that little part of me hopes that for your sake, that you'll only be dead a minute. That you'll forget me quickly. I'm sorry for this."

Damn me to hell. I'm waiting for his answer. I doubt I'll ever get one.

References:

WAYSQ:
Does the silence not haunt you? Can’t you hear the imaginary whispers— Calling your name, Sighing a breath of doubt. I haven’t heard from you, But my mind has been keeping me company. Don’t you miss me? Do I bore you? Do you hate me? Do you just not notice the way I yearn for you? Every breath I take, In anticipation of your next word. I’m tired of starting it all, Just to see you end it. You don’t want to talk, I understand. Just tell me if that’s true, So I can stop waiting. Your silence is deafening, Telling me stories I don’t want to hear. If you don’t care for me, Tell me. Or atleast just say hi, Once in a week. I know you hate me, And if you don’t, Don’t fret a thing. I hate myself for you. You don’t have to hate me, Because I’m already doing that. But please, Even if you don’t care, Even if you want me to die, Just send me a text, An email, A letter, A picture, Something to get me by. You’re far too quiet, And I need to hear something other than my whining.

UNDERSTATEMENT:

You didn’t believe me when I said I loved you, but I didn’t really mean it when I said it. I just needed someone, something, to keep me going. Too long had I laid under a cloudy sky, waiting for the warmth of the sun. Too many times had I closed my eyes and dreamed for tomorrow. I’m done with all that, I put it behind me. I’m not some kid who needs something in general, I’m specific now. I search for the perfect thing, the key to my heart, the way to end this misery. When I told you I loved you, I loved the idea that someone was there. Someone who cared for me. But I don’t want that anymore. I don’t care what you think you mean to me, you don’t. I shut my eyes again, but no longer will I dream for tomorrow. Tomorrow never came. It never will. I don’t love you, I never did.

But I’ll be damned if I don’t need you.

I TRIED:

I wanted to make things right. I wanted to be happy. I took a risk, a chance. I did something I’m not generally proud of, but I did it for a greater good. But you lied. I can’t just get over that. Ever beat of my damned heart sends more blood to my brain so I can just think about it. I will never get over it. I will never change. That which exists will not be destroyed by its creator. What you did is there. And I won’t ever forget it. The way you treated it so casually. The way you had lied to me. I hated it. I hate the thought of it. I hate the way he’s laughing at me now, knowing he got you. I hate the unconcerned look I got from you. I hate the way it was written. Most of all though. I hate you. I just fucking hate you. I hate you and I want you to die in a fitting death. One where you’re fucking alone and in pain. You ruined everything for me. You were right when you said words meant nothing. You were fucking right. I sure as hell don’t care for you. I can live all my life knowing you’re rotting in your self pity. But that won’t happen, no. You’re going to cry for a day. And then go find new people. I don’t mean anything. I’m just a placeholder. A title easily transfered, taken even. I gave you a chance. You didn’t deserve the chance. You don’t deserve me. I may be nothing, a no one, a useless, whining kid. But I deserve something. I deserve a little slice of happiness. And you sure as hell won’t give me any. So to you, I say-

Fuck you.