Black Parade Two Years From Now

Two years from now my friends and I, and their friends, and their friends. All the teenagers that know they're life is screwed up and want to live a life worth living and change the world. Will dye their hair black on the same day. All of us. All 100 and plus of us teenagers. And we will laugh so loud at all the teachers' faces. All the students who didn't dye their hair or are too cowardly. I will laugh so hard. This is my idea. It was my idea. It is now. In the hands. Of me. To protect and nurture my friends, help them grow, help them live, a life worth living, and they'll repay me with their hair two years from now. On a special day. Less than three. Less than three. Less than three.
Love, Rat the Proud.

The Black Parade Is Dead

WONDERFUL CONCERT. I've watched it on tv over 10 times. I recorded it awhile ago, it got deleted after I watched it so many times and I still missed it. AND I FOUND IT AGAIN, and I recorded it again, and I watched it again, and I loved it again, and I laughed again, I sang again, I admired again, I dreamed again. I would love to sing in a band. I would love it so freaking much. I love music, but I never really like bands with girl singers! Which pisses me off and makes me not want to be in a band, because how can I be as good as those bands I love so much, I'm a girl. And I have a girl voice. I love those guys' voices so much they're my alcohol. And I don't want a guy voice but they're so beautiful and I think I can sing. At least like an average girl...But no one likes girl bands.. :/ Sad sad. Yo estoy triste.

Shakespeare

I LOVE YOU. You're so freaken great. I hope you were handsome, bec-- Why am I still wanting to write in poem form? LOL. Stop it. Okay. Okay. I'm good.
At first I though Shakespeare was a psychopath, obsessed with death, always, but in these beautiful words. He reminds me of me, me and my Idol. We're all obsessed with death, always thinking about it, writing about it, singing about it, dreaming about it. I realized I love Shakespeare, he's freaking amazing. I kept reading on, getting more and more into awe, Hamlet is what I'm reading, it's so deep, so emotional, I relate to many things in this book. I relate to Hamlet's confusion and anger. Shakespeare I will read all of your books before I get to college. You better believe it.

Faggle G

Faggle G is a freaking he.
A freaken he who acts like a she.
I love those hes who act like the shes.
Because they're very sweet, and funny,
A treat.

But Faggle G, is not so sweet.
He is a joke of a boy,
a curse to the he's who think they are shes.
He's a gossiping witch,
as much as a b_tch.

And this witch is a mess,
he should wear a dress,
for all of the drama,
and fashion, and rest...

Faggle G I hate you,
I hate you so much,
you make my life miserable,
miserable and tough.
I regret telling you,
that small part of my life,
the life that I hide,
I hide to survive.

Faggle G if you ever,
ever tell the world,
If you ever tell the world of my life,
If you ever tell the world of my life that I hide.
Prepare, Faggle G, for the end of your life.

Exams

The exams were fairly easy. I only failed my Algebra one, and only because I was a freaken moron and forgot to check when I left that class so that I could spread my work evenly throughout the time I had. But no. I turned it in, rushed, an hour early thinking I had 5 minutes left. So the last 30/50 questions I didn't look at. Just circle, circle, bubble, bubble, and sign my name. God! I was so pissed! I couldn't get my exam back so I had to fume there. Sigh.
- Love, Rat.

Humans Are Amazing

Smirking at my last post, I forgot I wrote about that Thursday. I had been planning on writing about it because the very next day. That Friday after I posted, something happened again. I saw knives, I screamed, I screamed a horrified scream, she looked at me, something flashed in her eyes, hesitation? I'll never know. She clutched the knives, in both hands there were 3. A total of 6 weapons I was terrified of. Only terrified that she would hurt herself. I started forward. Hands covering my mouth I started towards her in a rush, only to be pushed back by him. Him who I sometimes hate. Only to be pushed into a car, with my sister and my brother. We screamed and sobbed. "Go back! Go back! Don't leave her there!" It went on and on. Eventually we were left alone in a parking lot, to wander barefoot towards home. He came back and picked up my sister and I, took us home, asked us, do we go to a hotel? Don't go inside. We don't know what she will do... He didn't pick up my brother, eventually to my shock I discovered my brother beat us home, he beat a freaken car home. My sister and I, and He, left to go get food, to have me discover, how amazing a human is. How the boy at the register, wouldn't have known that an hour before, I saw such a monster, a monster that I love so much I wouldn't care if I was killed as long as she got to live a minute more. That boy at the register. Had no idea. And will never know. That he saw me, me the screwed up girl. The Girl who loves black, who loves to cuddle, who's terrified of being left alone, who feels alone all the time, besides the company of the monster family. The girl who is un afraid of her own death. The one that is terrified of a certain person's death. And the girl who can't wait for love to come save her. Save her from herself. Because she will need someone else to love once her love is dead. Or else she will die.

Oh how I hate.

Oh how I hate living a lie,
going back to school,
pretending that all the horrible things that went on in my home,
just this night, those things that threaten death,
those things that cause tears,
things that would terrify normal people,
drive anyone insane,
things that make me scream in fear..

But not of my death.
I don't fear death anymore.
I haven't for a long time.
I wouldn't mind dying at all,
by car crash, disease or freak accident..
I wouldn't mind.
I only fear,
death,
for,
my..
someone close to me.

I've been fighting to keep them alive,
for three years now,
and I will always,
do my best to keep strong.

Today I was strong and calm,
for nearly 45 minutes.
And one thing.
One action.
Brought me crashing down.
Screaming.
And crying.

Oh how I hate to lie,
to go back to school,
and pretend that I live a normal life,
that none of this happens to me,
that I didn't just go through a normal kid's worst nightmare.
Oh how I hate to live this lie.

Disney World

First Day:
Epcot: Pretty cool, by the end it was boring though :D My mom got sick on the amazing rocket ship thing space adventure thing..

Second Day:
Universal Studios: Hogwarts was AMAZING. The tour and the ride! Plus I saw some really cool looking guy.

Third Day:
Hollywood Studios: Fantastic the show was amazingly beautiful and wonderful. And afterwards I saw Death himself. This man that walked by, I will never forget his face. He could have been the Devil for all I know. And I always laugh at people who say things like that, but this guy, was glaring at me with so much hate and bloodlust it was astonishing, the moment he looks at you, and his eyes were as wide as could be yet held so much anger. It was horrible and I nearly cried later on when remembering how you could feel the evil pulsing around him. Literally. He terrified me. And he only looked at me for a few seconds, he turned around the moment I looked at his back and met my eyes.

Fourth Day:
Animal Kingdom: I saw cute animals.

Fifth Day:
Magical Kingdom: Stayed up till two in the morning dancing cause of New Years. Fireworks were amazing.